Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
