is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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