I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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