had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
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