the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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