I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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