just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
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