Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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