Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
