a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Randomize
