Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
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