I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
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Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
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Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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