I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Randomize
