Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
