Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
