So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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