I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
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I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
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I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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