You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
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