Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Randomize
