Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
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And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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