Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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