I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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