thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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