I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
