To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
