He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
