you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
