I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
