I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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