I am in a vortex of obligation.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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