me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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