she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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