Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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