Will you blow on my dice?
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
