We named our party play list daddy issues
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
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You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
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He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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