I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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