Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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