I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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