had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
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she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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