Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Randomize
