i think my tv is drunk
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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