we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
