I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
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