we're blogging at a bar
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
