I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
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Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
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I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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