It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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