you guys were way drunker than both of me
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
i think my mom watched the whole time
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize