I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Randomize