i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
