I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
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