I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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