Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Randomize