Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
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