Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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