that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Can't talk, ducks in the car
He shit in the fireplace
Randomize
