Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Randomize
