return my video game
the day after is always just damage control
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Randomize
