your parents love me but you hate me
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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