I'm really into asian looking animals
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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