Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
two words: eviction party
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
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